_ I begin with Happy New Year!  A year has moved to our memories and another awaits, full of possibilities.

The week between the holidays offered time to read, watch and listen.  I read some fiction, some non-fiction, some business building.  I watched . . . movies, my favorite pastime.  And I had the opportunity to listen to an NPR program “On Being” hosted by Krista Tippet.  A program most interesting and one I get the opportunity to listen to only occasionally.  The program is most thought provoking.  However, I write of the program for it provided me with an “ah-ha” moment. 

What are “ah-ha” moments?  These are times in our life when we finally understand something.  Suddenly our thoughts are in full alignment, the answer is there.  You Know the Truth.  The questioning ceases, and you know how to move forward.

Assisting a client in finding the answers that show them how to move forward is an aspect of the essence of coaching.  During a conversation, when a client has an “ah-ha” moment, a moment when not only do they feel in alignment, you do as well.  It is such shared energy.  You both know that a moving forward is going to occur.  As a coach to personally experience such a moment, to feel it, know it, integrate it into who you are, does so much to deepen your authenticity.  With personal experience to such a moment energy expands in the sharing when it comes to clients. 

So my ah-ha moment . . .

As a first born Catholic the teaching of Catholicism are deep in my fabric.  However, there is an aspect of the teaching of Christ that I have long had difficulty with.  This being the concept of “Turn the other cheek.”  Throughout my life there have been times when turning the other cheek felt as if I was being taken advantage of.  I wondered how does that resolve conflict between people? 

After 58 years of living, in the broadcast “Pursing Happiness,” I reached an understanding of what Jesus Christ meant, and so much has fallen into place since.

First the full translation as stated in the American King James Version, Luke 6:29 –“And to him that smites you on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that takes away your cloak forbid not to take your coat also."

Toward the end of the discussion between the Dalai Lama, and three global spiritual leaders: a Muslim scholar, a chief rabbi, and a presiding bishop, Ms. Tippet asked, “Your Holiness, compassion is obviously central to what you teach and also to your understanding of a happy life . . . what advice you might offer to this moment in our collective life?  The Dalai Lama responded, “Jesus Christ, . . .For example, in the Gospel, you know, in the Gospel you find the commandment that, if some hit you on your right cheek, then turn the other cheek.”  The discussion continued on compassion, nonviolence, etc. 

Then Most Rev. Dr. Katharine Jefferts Schori, the Presiding Bishop of the Episcopal Church of the U.S provided my “ah-ha’ moment.  She explained that, “Hitting on one cheek in the ancient world, the superior would hit with the back of the hand. And if you turned your head, he would have to use the other hand and look you in the face. So suddenly the dynamic has changed. He would have to see you. He can't simply hit an inferior.

That’s it! Ah-ha!  I told myself.  When someone has to look you in the eye it becomes personal and that is the opportunity.  A relationship, a resolution, a solution can only be formed when it becomes personal.  It was such an OMJ (Oh, my Jesus) moment.  In turning “the other cheek,” there is the opportunity for the situation to become personal.

It exemplified another aspect of the essence of coaching.  The coaching relationship is personal.  That meeting the client, eye-to-eye, as a equal allows for the most gratifying coaching relationship.  Not as a superior .  Not as an inferior.  As an equal partner is when all things are possible.  That when a client “hits” you with a statement that doesn’t feel quite right look into their eyes, “turn the other cheek.”  I hope that explains it somewhat, for this is another aspect of the “ah-ha” moment, words are unnecessary and any words shared are insufficient in explaining the feeling, the understanding that has been made Known.

So in closing this first writing of the New Year, as a coach building experience, skills, knowledge, personally experiencing ah-ha’s, any growth, and integrating it into your own fabric is building your authenticity, your unique coaching gifts, and bringing the best of you to your clients.

Happy New Year!